Life in the Grad Lane

    As orientation and the start of graduate school approaches, I have become more aware of the differences that contribute to being labeled a "have" or a "have-not". I am not a firm believer in the idea that people either have everything or have nothing. I do believe that with the economy and the rising rates of unemployment, it's clear that there are people in society that will struggle all of their lives in order to have a glimpse of the so called "American Dream". Now that I am beginning a 5 year journey that will help me accumulate 120,000 dollars in debt, I  am beginning to focus my attention on simply learning how to maintain and live on very little money. While I used to focus on accruing money or acquiring things that would make me look at least somewhat like everyone else, I have come to realize that this was the last year, for 5 years, that I will be able to buy myself anything that doesn't have to do with my education. Although I am not a materialistic person, I am now understanding that I will not have financial wiggle room for a considerable stretch of time and am concerned about my future. My concern for my future has come from the fear that my very expensive education will not do for me what it might have done 10 years ago. This has come to light in different social settings and really came into focus yesterday-at a sporting event.
 During the water polo tournament it was striking to me that there was such an ethnic difference between the competing teams. And, that the families that had the nicest gear, best cars, and who had the most team swag where all white, middle to upper class families. Needless to say, I was surprised at the drastic difference. When I turned to my partner, who was an All-American water polo player, he smiled and told me how common it is to see color and economic disparities at athletic tournaments throughout the country. For my partner who was raised in East LA and played water polo all of his life, being Mexican and playing against an all white team seemed normal. What it said to me was that there is an obvious dissimilarity between the two groups that shouldn't be there. The one positive thing I found in this was a love for children and a desire to see them succeed in both communities. However, aside from that positive note, this tournament was a real life depiction of the haves and the have-nots. It got me thinking.
    Sitting in the stands, watching 10 year-olds play water polo, I thought to myself. What kind of parent will I be? What will my child be like? How well will I be able to provide for them? All of these questions come back to my education and how much it will be worth once I am a practicing psychologist at the ripe old age of 27. Being as I hope to have children and marry my current partner, I can only imagine what side of the crumbling bridge me and my family will be on. As I work toward being a "have", my education, family and my partner have contributed to the realization that just because I am used to being a "have-not" does not mean that I cannot be a "have". And if I become a "have", I can use my resources to help those that need it the most- those who are in my position now.

Awaiting scholarship responses.....


 

Collegiate Underbelly

       I know that I have not written in a while and for that I am sorry. So much has been going on in my life before I begin graduate school. In short, I have been working at least 6 days a week, reading a bunch of books from the optional reading list and working hard at building my savings account before the end of August.
       While I have heard back from one other scholarship (that of which I did not get), I have decided that if I do not get any scholarships out of what I applied to, the least I can do is work as much as possible before I start school. With both a job as a daughter and a sister, and with family that need financial support, I have watched as my saving account has peaked at 1,000 dollars and dwindle down to 100.00. This has been a reoccurring cycle for about 5 months. Because I need to help them secure a roof over their heads, buy groceries and pay for other bills that pop up along the way, it seems as though, as much as I put away, it quickly is gone.
       Although I do not buy myself lavish things or go on vacations, I always find time to go to lunch with co workers or friends. Its during these nice catch up sessions that a financial door was opened for me. However, I have yet to walk through it. Throughout my college career, I was slowly introduced to the term and category of "sex worker". While I never did anything that could have put me in that category, I became adamant about fighting for their rights as women and as workers. It was during this time that I realized how often the women I was in college with did some form of sex work in order to pay their bills. When most people hear the word "sex worker", they think prostitute or escort. However, there are a lot of others things one can do in the same industry that involve far less nudity and, for most, help finance college careers. As society becomes more attuned to the fact that there are different and enlightened ways to have sex, there will be more options to fund the lives of all forms of sex workers. This means selling worn underwear or socks, thigh highs or even supplying worn panties to Japanese vending machines.
       Because I am still waiting to hear from my list of scholarships and grants, and working full-time, I am hoping I will have at least 1,000 saved by the time I start school. However, in the back of my mind, I continuously wonder what I would be getting myself into if I had the ability, courage or time to devote myself to another form of work. Those thoughts will forever remain in the back of my mind and instead I will continue to hope for the empowerment and strength to make it through school on my own.

150 scholarships and counting.....